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Why do men lie so much? Message board Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Apr 17, 2005 at 01:38 PM


    Seems to me that I only encounter men who lie, for some reason they always find me. I have such a good memory for previous statements that I am constantly finding flaws in their story. How can I change myself so that I no longer attract this type of man.
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  • View author's info Posted on Aug 14, 2015 at 08:38 AM


    Read that comment slowly and carefully and think about it for a while. Let the meaning really sink in. I think you will see why you are always fining te sort of men you do not like.

     

  • View author's info Posted on May 05, 2013 at 03:37 PM


    If they dont act right, send them down the road. If heREALLy wanted to be there, he wouldnt lie (as much) we are men.......Peace
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 03, 2012 at 10:21 PM


    Well, I don't think men lie any more, or less, than women.  Lots of times we lie to ourselves.  Our own self-image may be perceived as a 'lie' by others.  It's a most imperfect world, ain't it?  Anyway, so long as it's not a purposful lie, we have to forgive it.  If it's purposful misrepresentation, then it can't be forgiven ..... that is an issue of character.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 07, 2011 at 10:21 AM


         I would like to offer a few of my thoughts about this lying business . One .. It isn't gender dependent  ....   Both do it !!  Two .. We don't know "MOST" people ... only the ones we encounter. Three .. personal opinion ...  A lot of times we feel inadequate aand try to make up for it by "stretching" the truth . We "sometimes" get away with it  which re-enforces the inclination to do it again .   Four .. In a personal relationship , sooner or later , accidentally or otherwise ...  the truth will come out !!!  Five .. When we are caught , we might get forgiven , but might not . Either way ... irrepairable damage is done .

         Welll , that's my thinking .. just mine . I have made my decision .. you make yours . As for "changing to avoid this ... "Good Luck with that" . I think changing yourself is perhaps the biggest lie/mistake we all make . It just doesn't work !!! Again , just my opinion .

    I read most of the comments here , I am glad to see that many of you agree with my thinking .

    counsselor

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • View author's info Posted on Jun 26, 2011 at 06:25 AM


    I tend to agree with jimcurr.  Sad but true.

  • View author's info Posted on Jun 24, 2011 at 09:42 AM


    I've found that most women with the exception of a very few, lie withough even realizing their telling an untrut. They just like to talk and we both know how the truth gets stretched.

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  • View author's info Posted on Feb 06, 2011 at 12:11 PM


    I trust according to what and how the person is talking about. I learned that trust has to be earned i don't just trust because it's the nice thing to do as in being non-judgemental. The slower u go the more u get to know.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 04, 2011 at 07:57 PM


    why are you dateless, Barrone? Ask somebody to join you for coffee. And please, continue to be honest. That's the key to finding a quality person to share your life with.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 04, 2011 at 07:47 PM


    You don't want to change yourself to tolerate lying. You want to wait for a quality man to show up who doesn't lie. Then you'll know you found your "diamond." I don't know why men/women lie. I'm like you & can remember what people tell me, so I always think "do they really think I believe this?" This is an important trait to some, so keep at it til you find your guy. He's out there somewhere. Just open your eyes a little wider.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 03, 2011 at 07:01 AM


    Both lie irrespective of gender. It has to do sometimes with egoism. Some lie for an mean to an end. Some lie to avoid conflict. To state what you have is paint all men with a broad stroke.

    It would be like me generalizing that all men are are supportive and understanding.

    A major problem I endured in the past is that I did not really understand what a relationship truly was. It's really hard to try to understand another when sometimes we don't really know ourselves. Some of like to think we do, but it can be a life long process.

    Many of us have went into relationships blind. Sailors do not go to sea without some type of navigational device or they will become lost. I kept getting "lost." I had to educate myself.

    We have to learn why one moment we feel this way and the next another. We also have to understand how a person can change their attitude towards us from moment to moment and day to day.

    We are all driven by emotion, POV's (points of view), and beliefs. Bottom line is... once you really "get" yourself you will be able to understand another.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 01, 2011 at 08:20 AM


    As a young person i did not practice being ethical and so attracted unethical people. As i worked on developing myself and became more ethical I attracted fewer people but they were more ethical. Ethics R important. Ethical people don't lie, cheat, steal etc. I used to trust 1st then find out what the person was really like, become disappointed and drop them. I learned trust has to be earned slowly. Now that i've become more spiritual i'm looking for someone who is also someone who has a spiritual practice. Its no guarantee but i think it helps to weed out some of the flakes.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 17, 2011 at 12:33 AM


    Well. I'm honest ,, and dateless, so guess that doesn't work ...

  • View author's info Posted on Dec 29, 2010 at 11:55 PM


    I believe both genders will lie at some time or another. It all depends.

    When a man lies to me while on a date, I just smile and make a decision, call him out or let it ride? It all depends. I haven't experienced it all that much really. Some men try to impress with lying while others just lie to be lying. LOL

    I don't lie as a norm, however, if my friend just got a hair color done and it looks okay and she is one of those who can't handle the truth I will lie. LOL However, if she can handle the truth I will tell her it looks okay but I have seen better colors on her.

    I don't take up a lot of my time with these kinds of things, people will be people and they will be who they are. I just accept it.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 26, 2010 at 10:55 PM


    don't "live lonely"! Pursue your interests, volunteer, make friends and develope those friendships. The loneliest I've ever been was in a relationship where I "settled" for less than what I wanted.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 26, 2010 at 03:14 PM


    Well sometimes its nice to be lied to like yo look pretty even without your makeup.......or no dear your buns look the same as a 20 year old.......and us gals have had to lie for the sake of who we love.....I love you even with that cold and the snot stuck to your beard.....you have to sort things out ....now there is stupid liers and smart ones and the really smart ones you will never catch... your only finding dumb ones in a way thank God.....
    Dumb is forever.and so are dumb liers...
    and we all know when the one we love is being a rug to save your feelings.so how do you know if the ones in the middle are the ones in the middle and live lies.......like cream the lies surface..just keep an eye on that we may be pushing people into lies too. Make sure your not cornering and putting people in a spot that they can only start to lie.
    Be open and honest and when you find a flaw ask.....dumb will run ..or try to cover with another lie. Smart and one who care will come clean and explain why he lied or she lied... but be ready for what you hear too.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 29, 2010 at 03:45 PM


    I once asked a lover, "Just don't ever lie to me".  And he said "I'll try".  Try?? He said that he learned to lie at a young age because his mother was such a dragon.  I don't lie primarily because its wrong, but also because I don't want to have to remember what I told whom.

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 28, 2010 at 05:49 PM


    I lived my whole life with a lair, it's in their family genes. But I took my vows for real. My payback is a broken heart and when he told the truth, Ididn't even believe it for sure.

    I'd rather be alone in life than even be friends with a liar. I can't lie because I start laughing and give myself away, even on something silly. Real lie, never, can't help it if it hurts your feelings, if you like me, you will still be my friend.

    Living lonely but can't find myself to trust hardly anyone these days.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 23, 2010 at 09:20 AM


    Quoting elainestacy:

    Seems to me that I only encounter men who lie, for some reason they always find me. I have such a good memory for previous statements that I am constantly finding flaws in their story. How can I change myself so that I no longer attract this type of man.



    Elaine, boy do I understand, and agree with others ... both sexes lie; I'm not talking about "fish stories" ... the bold, in your face, gosh YOU remembered what I said, no I didn't" sort of lies.

    Best way to go about protecting yourself?  Do NOT settle for less-than.  You know the sort of person you want in your life, weed out anyone that doesn't meet the majority of YOUR needs.  Sure it sounds selfish (me, I) however, in love aren't we allowed to be selfish?  To want what we want? Honesty, respect, morals, and ethics...speaking more of family ethics than general.

    When we settle for "less-than" we are of course disappointed.  Lies are for me a total betrayal.  No question, no excuse or "I'm sorry" ever fixes a liar.  Once trust is broken, it's hard to keep the love in the relationship.

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  • View author's info Posted on Nov 16, 2010 at 06:57 AM


    kathe....you have a valid point. I guess it is "Depends on the situation."

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